Fridge Art

The other day Marnie took Benjamin to the Children's Museum, where he produced his very first fridge art. What a little artistic genius.

and so it begins

A small detour from vacation photos, and then we will get back to them tomorrow. A couple of years ago, I remember my friend Heidi being worried about missing her son Miles' first steps because she was at work. And I thought, oh come one, its not like those are the only steps he'll ever take, suck it up. You'll see some other steps. Of course I also remember thinking she was over reacting because she cried from being stressed out about finding child care. (And we all know how that worked out for me. Or maybe you don't. Envision tears, both copious and squirty. Many of them.) Ok, so time to bite my tongue, big time, sorry Heidi! See the photo of the small man in the red and blue stripes, busily devouring his rhino? He looks like a little guy, right? WRONG! Marnie the fabulous nanny took him to the aquarium today, which is great, but makes me sad for all kinds of reasons. First off, I have now missed the first zoo trip and the first aquarium trip. Secondly, I had no idea he was big enough to be interested at all. But he loved it! She said he thought the sea otters were hilarious, and was all excited when they would come by, and was laughing and alert and awake the whole time. He has slept through both zoo trips, so I really don't feel like I missed out much there. But who knew he would even notice anything at the aquarium?? He is so big and grown up! He goes on field trips while I am at work!! I have already started missing out on his big firsts, and I have been back to work for just over 2 months. Sad.

What am I doing?

What a long and crappy day at work today. My head hurts and I am so ready for bed. At 6:05 pm. Definitely one of the days that makes me wonder what I am doing here, and why I am not at home with my little snuggle monkey walking around greenlake and singing I'm a little teapot all day. Hmpf.

Tess-o-rama and Welcome Cooper

Tess came over and played with us today, for almost the whole day! I am like a professional mom now. It was very exciting. Maija had to take Colin to the ER for a complication with the spinal tap he had yesterday. Scary stuff, I am very relieved that he seems to be doing better now. They dropped Tess off around 9:30 (I think) and Maija came over to pick her up around 2:30. Because it was on such short notice, she came without lunch or coat in her pjs. Now I do not say this as a criticism of Maija AT ALL, but only because I am so proud of my improvising and professional mom-ing ability. Tess and Benito and I walked the lake with Wenmei and Zachary and Cowboy, our neighbors from the childbirth class. Sadly, Maisy had to stay, because I could not manage the front pack, the stroller and the hound simultaneously. It was quite the feat to just get our little trio and the stroller down the stairs in fact, and an even more impressive feat to get back up. Tess very agreeably slept the whole way, wrapped up in my sub zero parka as a coat/blanket, and Benito not very agreeably slept half the way and woke up hungry and unhappy about it. It It was really hard to listen to him cry about it on the way back, but even so, I still think he has such a cute, inoffensive little cry. He is very sweet sounding, even when he is upset.

We got back around lunch time, so I had to figure out how and what to feed Tess. We do have a high chair, so I thought that would be the best plan, but of course I don't actually know how to use it. I also had to get it out of a closet upstairs, again a challenge with both children - one who can't be left alone due to the unchildproofedness of our house and stairs, and one who wants to walk around with you all the time. But I did get it, and even got it set up, and got Tess in it. Then of course I couldn't get the stupid tray on. In the end, I got one half on, and the other half just sat sort of cockeyed not clipped in. Tess seemed like she was sort of low for the tray, so I tried to adjust the seat with her in it, not a good idea. But even inspite of that she did eat some lunch, and then went down for her nap. I also had to figure out how to lower the pack n play for the first time, which was also successful. I thought Tess was sleeping, but when I went in to check on her, she had chucked her doll out of the pack n play, and was sitting up saying "mama, mama" over and over again. So I picked her up and we played in Benjamin's room, where she was really funny, diapering her doll, and watching Jammy on his little play mat. So, her mom picked her up more or less fed, and rested, and all in one piece, although with Jam in her hair. It was a triumphant day for me.

I still don't have the memory card back in the camera, so sadly no Tess picture here. My intent has been to use pictures from the day of post, and going forward maybe that will happen, but so far I have been recycling earlier ones. So today, instead of Tess we have "welcome Cooper". Cooper Fernstrom was born a few days ago, (I am so lame I don't remember which day exactly), and we are very anxious to meet him.

The Garage Dilemma and Back to Work

So, two things were on the schedule today, which breaks my only schedule one thing rule. First I went in to work for a meeting, and second we had another contractor come and present a garage bid.

I have been sort of dreading going back to work, for no good reason. I actually really like my job, and I get to work on cool projects with people I really like. There really isn't anything to worry about, but I was worrying anyway. So I went in for a lunch meeting, and everyone was really nice, and it reminded me of why I like my job. So, I am much less apprehensive about going back. Although I am still worried about lumpiness and spontanesous shirt soaking lactation. Subject for another day.

Second thing for the day was the garage contractor. One of the problems with our very non-new construction house is its lack of a playroom/tv room/hangout space. Right now the tv is in the living room (not cool) and there is no good space for the tiny dictator to spread out his toys and play (also not cool). Not that he does that yet, but its on his 5 year plan. The idea has been to build a garage in back, where our cruddy old carport is, along with a shop/storage area. Then we could move the workbench and tools, and all the yard stuff - lawnmower, rakes, shovels, what have you - out of the basement, so we could finish the basement. So that has been the plan. Enter the contractor bidding process. We called 5 design build contractors, and ended up having 3 come out and bid the project. Yikes! Bids from 70k - 90k pretty much killed the garage plan. We definitely don't need 90k worth of woodshop.
Sooo, enter the revised plan, as of today. The new idea is to finish 75% of the basement as man land/ BAM land, and leave 25% of it as storage/shop. Then purchase a prefab Home Depot shed to store yard tools etc on it. Which runs about 88 thousand dollars less than the garage. Seems like a better plan. So, first step we will embark on is to start the great basement cleanout. We will be craigslisting a ton of stuff this weekend, and dissasembling the drum kit. Its a very exciting step! You all know how I love to get rid of stuff. I like it almost as much as I like getting new stuff. So if you are interested in weightbench, outdoor equipment or piles of wood, please let me know, as it will be leaving shortly. Yay!

the east

I spent today at Judith's house in Issaquah, hanging out with Auntie Cookie and Annie, going to Costco, going to Starbucks, shopping her closet, and generally schlumping around. I think it was Benjamin's first Costco trip, and Annie rode in the back seat with him and entertained him. We have told her it is her job to pass on all of the wisdom her big siblings gave her. I cleverly left when it started to snow, thereby escaping my prescribed treadmill time. Mwah ha ha. Anyway, the whole day was sooooo much fun. Why have I not been doing this every day of my leave? Pretty lame really. But it brings up a recurring discussion in our house about the possible benefits of moving to the eastside, and one house on one street in particular. They include:

• new construction house
  
• large greenbelt lot with sunny fenced yard
  
• quiet street with playground
  
• nice neighbors offering free daycare
  
• proximity to hiking, general outdoorsyness
  
• lower house payment
  
• good public schools
  

On the downside we have some equally compelling arguements. Most notably commute time, and my generally snobby attitude that Seattle is superior to the east side. This is really agonizing for me, since I would really love to be neighbors with my big sis, and have a house that needed no improvements, no projecting, and had a sunny back yard. And raise the boy with his cousins, and his grandparents, who would inevitably move there if we did. But I also love my neighborhood, my easy commute, my proximity to tons of cool stuff. So I don't know what to do. For the moment the answer is to do nothing, especially since the house in question seems to have sold. But I do like to day dream about it.

In other news, we toured the Wallingford Child Care Center this morning. I don't know why I bother. The places are all the same. Seem very nice, teacher ratios, emergent play curriculum, peanut free, blah blah blah, 1-2 year waiting lists. But its in the neighborhood, and we are on the list. Made for an outing anyway.

Donuts, Little Debbies, Cookie Dough, Ice Cream, Eggos and Cream Puffs, or What happens when you go to the grocery store with 2 pregnant women

Well it has been a whirlwind few days since my last post. One thing that I do want to mention, before I forget, is that Benjamin discovered his mobile this week. Before he didn't even notice it, and now he will lay on his back and stare at it, and he fusses when the little animal parade stops going around, and playing its little song. He is getting all grown up! The neck control thing is getting better, but I tried him out in the Johnnie Jump up and he just slumped over and started crying. Apparently not ready for that one yet. He is still laughing once or twice a day, and he is really starting to chat with us more and more this week.

So as the follow up to the nanny chronicles, Sara emailed me after the trial run on Thursday, and Sam is allergic to Bailey, so she won't be able to nanny after all. Grrrr. So we had the second Marnie interview this afternoon, which was fine, so she is going to watch Benjamin on Thursday for a few hours as a test drive.

In other news, Hillary came to stay this weekend. Yay! The big excitement is that after much trying and many trials and tribulations (see http://www.hillaryshope.blogspot.com/ for more details), she is pregnant. Wahoo! I have known about this for several weeks, and have had a heck of a time keeping it quiet so that she could tell people about it in person. In a fabulous and happy coincidence, Maija is also pregnant, and due within a couple of days of Hillary. I got to see them tell each other, and it was a classic moment that I will always remember. Those two and Judith came over on Friday night, and we went to Rositas for cheese enchiladas and strawberry margaritas (some virgin). Afterwards we went to the grocery store and purchased more desserts than I have ever purchased at once (see title), and ate them while we watched What Not to Wear. Hillary fell asleep on the couch, and Judith had to go back to Issaquah earliesh, but sadly, thats always been about our speed for night life. We can't all be crazy party people.


On Saturday Hillary and I went to Bellevue for Hillary's first ever scrap booking experience, and then spent the day shopping for maternity clothes. We had take out Thai and Maija came over, and I made them watch me try on all my work clothes and see what fit. It was like our own what not to wear. Lots of commentary about structured jackets and camies to hide a bit of a tummy. They laid in bed and tried to stay awake, I finished the cream puffs. Yum. Hillary had to go to Redmond to hang out with Traci this morning, but I have high hopes that Mickey will get a job here (interview February 2! Cross your fingers!)

The Nanny Chronicles

Yesterday was the first trial run with Sara the nanny. It was a long freakin road to get there. I like my job, and had always intended to go back to work, so I started looking for childcare when I was about 4 months pregnant. I was prepared (sort of) for it to be super expensive, but I wasn't prepared for it to be so bloody hard to find.

The first place I looked was Bright Horizons downtown. I thought this would be great, I could walk over at lunch and feed him, and it was really nice. And $1700/month. And had a 1-2 year waiting list. As does everywhere else downtown. Its crazy. I start looking into nanny shares, meet with a few people, don't really find anything. So we kept looking, and found a center 2 blocks from Loren's office, still very nice, around $1200/month, that thought they would have a slot for us in the spring. Great, we say, put us on the list. So after Benjamin was born, I started obsessive compulsively calling them weekly to check on our status. Not so good. It looks like there won't be a spot for us after all. $%^*&#!!!

At one point late in the pregnancy, Loren and I run into Jan and Allen at Home Depot. They have lived across the street from Loren's parents for 30 years, and are great. Jan is a substitute teacher, and mentions that she wants to be a "granny nanny" for an infant. I could hardly contain myself. She would be perfect. Beyond perfect! At that point I was looking for someone 4 days a week, since my mom was going to watch him Wednesdays. Then we devised a plan to have my dad drive Jammy to Issaquah on Friday mornings, so Auntie Cookie could watch him. We would pick him up Friday afternoons, and hang out for dinner, or trade babysitting with the Fernies so that we could each go on date night sometimes. So we needed someone for 3 days a week. Long story short, Jan could only do 2 days, and I spent months trying to figure out how to make that work. But there is just no way. I'm still hoping she will call and say she can do 3 days. Anyway, we keep on with the search.

I start looking at in home child care centers. All full. I get on the list for a center in our neighborhood, which I haven't even toured yet (I do that next week). And I start scouring Craigslist every day for nanny options, and nanny share options. Meet with a few more nanny share families, still no good. Send 50 bjillion nanny emails, meet with several nannies. Of course I can't afford a full time nanny, so I'm looking for one 3 days a week, that will bring her child along with her. The first one was great, but her son was a little hoodlum. The second one not so great, but her child was awesome. If they could have just swapped kids, it would have been perfect. So I keep interviewing people until I come up with a good option. Woo-hoo!

Sara is a first grade teacher on maternity leave. Totally capable, really cute and together, and right in my price range, adorable children. Yay! The only catch is that she has not one, but two kids to bring with her, and they are 2 months and 18 months. Yikes. That is a lot of tiny kids to look after. But clearly she wants to do it, and thinks she can manage it, and its a better child/adult ratio than in a center, so why not? Although she is coming from Lake Forest Park, and has to go back to work in September. But I like her, and don't have another good option. So I basically hire Sara.

I had some other interviews scheduled already, so I figured I should just meet with the people in case. And I meet Marnie. She lives about 5 blocks from me, has been a nanny and worked in day cares for several years, and has one cutie little 3 year old boy, Azariah. Who LOVES Maisy, always a plus. She is in fashion design school at night, her husband is in a band. Of course Loren is all excited about that. Marnie is a little more expensive, but could be around indefinitely, and I know would give Benjamin tons of attention. So I was really torn. But Sara had already been hired, and I liked her too, and she is less expensive.

So anyway, Sara comes yesterday afternoon, and watches Benito from 1:30 - 4:30. It was totally fine, he was fed and dry and happy when I got home, playing on the gyminee play mat thingy with Bella, the other baby. She had changed his little outfit when it got wet, and seemed like everything went really well. Sam, the 18 month old, was totally adorable, and kept running over to hug Loren's legs. Super cute. But I'm still kind of worried that in the 3 child scenario, Benjamin will lose out a little on the attention front etc. I keep having to tell myself, better than a day care, better than a day care. This morning I was feeling kind of resentful toward her, because it is becoming more and more clear that I would so like to stay home. I'm going to be totally jealous of the nanny, who will get to hang out at my house all day and play with my baby. There are lots of reasons why it makes sense for me to work, and lots of reasons why I want to, but I'm also surprised by how badly I want to stay home. He is just so sweet and little. It makes me teary eyed to think about leaving him every day. What a total wimp.